Why are we so uncomfortable?
It’s a big week for us over here at Out in the Boons. In addition to the ongoing client work - I’m producing a nonprofit gala this Saturday AND have my first live workshop on November 6th. If you are local to Southern California - I highly recommend getting a ticket. It is going to be a half-day jam packed with high-value content, networking, and learning. For some of you - this may be the last professional development opportunity you get in 2019.
But I want to talk about something different this week:
BEING UNCOMFORTABLE.
I recently had lunch with a friend who left her job not on her terms. She was rightfully upset, feeling lost and hurt. Like the badass that she is - she got into action. I’m talking working 40+ hours each week networking, job searching, updating her resume and applying for jobs. As I was talking to her over our chicken plates - I asked her if she had taken any time to relax - to process what had just happened to her, or perhaps do something nice for herself like get a massage or watch an afternoon of Netflix. Her answer: No.
We get so uncomfortable being uncomfortable.
For the record, I am the most uncomfortable all the time. And it got me thinking....fundraising can be SUPER uncomfortable.
I’ve talked about this before, but how many people say to you, “Oh, I could NEVER ask people for money!”? To people that don’t know how to do it, or have maybe never tried - the task can seem super uncomfortable, right?
What this all boils down to is fear. That pesky little emotion that is always dancing around us. What are some things I’m fearful of? Here is my short list, but not limited to:
Not providing for my family
Rejection
Not making payroll
Not being able to grow my family
What others might say about about me for “selling” or “asking”
I could spend all day on this list.
Fear is a real thing - it can either paralyze or motivate you.
Here are some things I try to do to move through the fear:
Stop what I’m doing, put both feet on the ground, close my eyes and take 3-5 long, deep breathes
Say a mantra in my head. Anything from “Let it flow, let it be easy” to “I can do this” or “It will all be ok” - I have a short list of mantras I go to based on what fear is rising up.
I get rest. Your girl here just doesn’t operate well when I’m tired. I just don’t. And while it isn’t always possible - I really try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. To give you an example, I had childcare last Friday night 🎉 which meant I was able to work until 9pm. While multiple people definitely thought I was a loser for working on a Friday - it also meant that I didn’t have to work much at all Saturday and Sunday (I mean - I even had time to start this book - winning)
I get organized. Everything from keeping a clean house, to organizing my inbox and my calendar gets me through the fear. When I can see the steps clearly mapped - it makes things so much easier to move forward
Progress over perfection. I’ve been working on this a lot and it gets easier the more I do it. Just DOING it, starting it, whatever “it” is - a forward motion - helps so much with the fear. Letting go of the “it’s not perfect so I won’t do it/put it out there” is tough. But I’m also finding that people really respond to me showing up ESPECIALLY when it’s not perfect. How about that?
Practice - one thing about fear is that it can stop you in your tracks. Don’t give into that. You need to keep moving forward. One thing I’ve tried is a daily to-do list and a nightly brain dump list. This helps me keep on track with baby steps forward. When I have my two lists, I am less likely to forget something and more likely to get things done when I can see them itemized.
Embrace being uncomfortable - because it usually means growth.
So back to my friend from above - guess what she emailed me over the weekend? That she got a job offer (!) and start in less than two weeks! It was TWO WEEKS of excruciating uncomfortable, but now she is off to start her next adventure. I’m going to be texting her on the regular to make sure she takes those walks, enjoys that Netflix binge and goes to get that massage because very soon - she won’t be able to enjoy the uncomfortable state of having free time.
What do you do when you are feeling uncomfortable? How do you move through the fear?