Step by Step - How to have a conversation with a donor
When people hear I’m a fundraiser or that I ask people for money professionally, they usually say, “I don’t know how you do that - I could never!” Truly, the way I’ve been able to be sustainable in this career for the past 13+ years is that I don’t think of it as asking for money - I think of it as making friends. Does making friends sound scary to you? To me, it sounds like a possibility - and I’m always up for something new.
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Here are 7 simple steps (and a freebie!) to have a genuine conversation with a donor with tips on how to keep the conversation going plus ways to make follow up easy.
Step #1: Nervous? Let that freakin’ go.
I get it (really, I’m an introvert at heart). The idea of starting a conversation with someone brand new about your organization that leads to talking about money can be terrifying. I mean seriously, who likes asking for money straight up? Answer: not a single person. That’s why you can’t think of it like that. Truly, you need to take off your hat that says, “I’m going to ask you for money someday,” and replace it with, “Want to be friends?” Switch your brain off that has anything to do with money however you need to do it: Pump some music on the ride to your meeting, listen to an interesting podcast, do some Eye of the Tiger jumps, meditate...do what you would do before you walk into a party (well, maybe like a Saturday brunch vs. a late night rave) - just be yourself and try to have a good attitude.
Step #2: Turn your listening ears on (and your silent voices off).
This is so hard, but like I ask my daughter, “Are your listening ears on?” (then I move my hands by the sides of her head and say, “Click, click,” so she knows they are turned up).
This conversation you are about to have is not about you. Let me repeat: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU/YOUR ORGANIZATION/YOUR MISSION/YOUR IMPACT.
This conversation is all about your DONOR.
This means you need to have your head clear and ears on to be able to listen to what your donor has to say compared to thinking up a new question, what you are going to have for lunch, or how you are (eventually) going to ask them to make a gift.
Step #3: To be interesting, be interested.
Like Dale Carnegie says, “To be interesting, be interested.” Similar to the above about listening, this step is more active. By being interested, you are making eye contact, you have positive body language, maybe you are nodding your head to show you are engaged in the conversation. You might be giving me a big, “DUH,” but I have been in conversation with people that don’t do this - or you can tell have their eyes and ears somewhere else, and let me tell you: people can tell. It is not only rude, but it will make your donor want nothing more than to end the conversation with you, and fast.
Step #4: Ask smart questions (check out this freebie) that lead to valuable information about your donor.
We’ve talked about the importance of prospect research and some tips and tricks to get to know your donor before ever meeting them. You may have even completed this Killer Prospect Research Template on your donor before your meeting. As you go into your meeting, it is necessary to review all of your research. From there, it is important for you to have a mental game plan of what you are trying to achieve from this meeting:
What are you trying to find out?
Are you just getting to know this donor?
Are you hoping to learn about their financial situation (perhaps they have an elderly parent or sending kids off to college making gift giving difficult for now)?
Are you trying to figure out what other donors they are connected to?
Does their company participate in philanthropy? If so, are they willing to get them involved?
When you have your game plan in place, mentally or physically draw up 3-5 questions that will help move the needle towards getting you a gift down the road.
: If you are in a conversation with a donor who is telling you her business is thriving for the first time in three years, dig into how she made that happen, what strategies she put in place, and if she got lucky with timing, hard work, or a combination of both. Bottom line: be curious. Based on her answers, you will have learned that 1) She may be in a more financially ready place to make a gift to your organization compared to years past 2) You will definitely learn more about her thought process and personality and 3) You may even learn to understand some of her values. All of these items are highly important for follow up and ultimately for when you ask for a gift.
Step #5: Thank you + Follow up.
How many times can I emphasize listening in one blog post? Never enough!
You’ve secured the meeting, you sit down with your donor and have a great conversation (yey!). Because you practiced excellent listening skills, heck, maybe you even took some notes at your meeting, you should have a to-do list of what to do next.
But first, you need to thank your donor for giving you their time. A simple email or text will work, but within 24 hours of your meeting - you need to follow up.
:
Dear XXX,
Was so great meeting with you (insert date: yesterday/Tuesday/etc). I can’t thank you enough for your time. (insert a sentence or two about anything specific you talked about. Ie: I’m so thrilled to hear your mother is feeling better/good luck with your upcoming trial/I’ll be thinking of you as you train for that half marathon).
Looking forward to connecting up again soon. I’ll be following up in the coming days/weeks/months about (insert any action items).
With gratitude,
Your name
Step #6: Record the notes and tell someone on your team about your conversation.
I can’t stress to you enough the importance of recording the happenings of your donor meetings. Hopefully, you and your organization are working with a CRM (I plan to do a post about some of my favorites soon), but if not - a Google Sheet will work too. Here are the main things you will want to record as soon as you can following your meeting:
DATE OF MEETING DONOR NAME RELATIONSHIP MANAGER MEETING NOTES ACTIONS ITEMS
In the upcoming weeks I plan to do a series about moves management and go into details on this entire section, but you can start with the above. Arguably, the hardest part is just forming the habit of recording the notes. #fundraisersarebusy.
In addition to the notes, you need to tell someone on your team about your meeting. My suggestion is to have dedicated time weekly to go over donor happenings. A live in-person or virtual meeting is best. Name by name you will go through any donor encounters you and your development team have from the week before. This not only follows my practice of fundraising is a team sport, but it also:
Allows more than one person on your team to be informed. This can be super important in case a different team member has an encounter with your donor that you just met with.
It makes your team more synch’d up on strategy.
It allows for a great team conversation that will result in awesome brainstorming around action steps.
It will keep you accountable to the action items you committed to.
It will make you a better fundraiser. Keeping all of this information in your head will benefit no one.
Step #7: Remember the valuable information (especially the things that have nothing to do with fundraising) & Follow through.
Damn, all of this sounds like a lot of work. Well, my friends, it is. But I promise, the more that you do this, the easier it will become.
So to recap…
You’ve let those nervous feelings go
You have your listening ears turned on (and inside voices off)
You are practicing being interested compared to being interesting
You are ready to ask smart questions that will lead you to information about your donor
You thank your donor following your conversation and follow up with any to-dos
You record the notes of your meeting and tell them to someone on your team
Remember how at the beginning I talked about fundraising is more about making friends compared to asking for money? Well, what do you do with your friend after going for a walk or maybe catching up over dinner? I know for me, depending on what was talked about, I might follow up with something like:
Sending them a book I just enjoyed reading
Shooting them a text/email of encouragement for something big coming up
Emailing them a recipe, article, or podcast that made me think of them
This isn’t brain surgery - it is about serving your donors in a way that is authentic. It is all about reaching out in a way that gives back to your donors without the expectation that they give financially to you.
What are some ways you can do that with your donors? Who are the last five donors you met with and what are 1-2 ways each that you can give something back to them? Take some time independently or better yet, with your team and try this out. It doesn’t have to be with every donor either. Start with 5 people and slowly grow that along. Before you know it - you are going to have so many new friends.
You got this!
xoxo,
